Deceptions and Truth
by Elijahcat
Summary: Eomer and Lothiriel want to marry for love but are trapped by Imrahil in an arranged marriage. In a bid to free themselves, they end up falling hopelessly for each other. Despite the initial strong attraction, there remains gaps that cannot be crossed.
1. Chapter 1: Duty before Love

All the usual disclaimers apply. I don't own any of the LOTR characters.

**Chapter 1 - Duty Before Love **

(Eomer's POV)

The garden was quiet until I heard voices. It was coming from the hedges behind the bench I was resting upon.

I instantly recognized the voice. It was Eowyn. She was giggling and whispering to someone. I didn't want to alarm her and searched along the hedge where I might see her without being spotted.

There was some moonlight and I could make out her companion was. It was Faramir.

The two of them were talking in hushed tones and giggling endlessly. Then they stopped and spent what I felt was a long time just staring and smiling at each other. Faramir seemed to be speaking into her ear and then she started kissing him on the neck.

I continued to spy on the two. I was happy for Eowyn, now that she is married to someone she loved.

But I felt very alone and thought about myself.

What does one get as the King of Rohan? The work of rebuilding the country. The life of the people to be made better. And eventually a queen whom he'll marry for the good of all.

But love? How will that happen for one who has to consider duty before love?

My heart was resigned and weighed down by a certain dread. And if I do not love her? Or cannot love? Duty before love, indeed. Life was much easier before I was King.

The next day was a just another series of long council meetings in the courts of Minas Tirith. As King Elessar spoke endlessly about strengthening alliances with Gondor's neighbours, I saw Prince Imrahil looking in my direction many times during the day.

I smiled and acknowledged him from afar. I owed that man more than I can imagine. Afterall, if it were not for him Eowyn would have been left for dead in Pelennor. He, being a ruler of Dol Amroth was also wise in many things concerning governance and gave me counsel in many things when I first became King.

When the meeting adjourned, I walked over and spoke with him. We started discussing the progress of the rebuilding projects in Rohan and then Imrahil asked about the Queen.

"I am afraid there is no Queen in sight. The rebuilding keeps me busy and there is no time for this." I said with a laugh and in a rather matter-of-factly manner.

"The growth and prosperity of Rohan will always be upon you Eomer …. But as rulers we must also think of continuity…someone who will carry on when you are gone. " he stated knowingly.

I nodded in agreement mostly but I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. The subject of marriage kept me wondering if it were ever possible to marry for duty and love.

And then his words "Eomer, please consider my proposal." struck me like a bolt out of the blue.

What did he just say? I stared at him, desperately recalling what he just mentioned.

"Please Imrahil, there are too many things on my mind and I have lost you somehow. What is this proposal you are referring to?" I asked.

Prince Imrahil looked at me with a hint of exasperation "I asked that you consider my only daughter, Lothiriel to be your wife, the Queen."

I was shocked. What! An arranged marriage! How did our conversation come to this? I don't even know if I ever met her much less marrying her. The prospect of the arrangement made me feel caged. The idea of marrying a stranger was revolting.

To make matters worse, Imrahil seemed very keen to pursue his idea further. He kept talking endlessly about his daughter. I was unsure and afraid of offending him. What should I say?

My mind was working furiously. How I could get out of this trap?

"Prince Imrahil, I am most honoured by your offer but it is not simply my private decision as concerns Rohan" I finally mumbled. "I need to have a word with my advisors. And besides what does the Princess make of such an arrangement? Is she agreeable to an arranged marriage? Does she not marry for love?" I continued steadily.

There I said it hoping he gets the hint to go back to Dol Amroth to work on the princess. That should buy me more time to work out how to escape this diplomatically.

"I have spoken with her before I came and she knows her duty is to her country. She is even willing to meet you at Rohan to get to know you before the wedding" came Imrahil's quick reply.

He continued talking very passionately like a father who knows best. I smiled but I wasn't listening.

"And you are right Eomer, you cannot decide on your own. ... But remember as the rulers, we all have to do what is best for our country."

Oh yes, duty before love indeed.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV, ten days before in Dol Amroth) 

" Ada, for the last time – I will not be sold to this horselord! Don't you care that I do not know or love him?"

"But you will – if you give him a chance. He is a fine man….and please trust me that I would never do anything that is not good for you" came my father's reply. His voice was tense and trembling, coming close to the point of boiling over.

Really, of all the things in Middle Earth, why must he choose to be adamant on whom I should marry? This is the most important decision I would ever make for myself and he has taken that away from me. And why this King Eomer of Rohan? I know that his sister is married to cousin Faramir. But I don't want to marry this…this northerner and horseman.

And what of love? How could I marry without love?

I appealed again. " Ada, please I don't wish to be like Aunt Finduilas who..."

"Don't you dare bring her into this discussion! Your aunt married both for her country and love. If you had more sense, Lothiriel you know that I am not trying to send you to your death. And my decision is final. You will marry Eomer, King of Rohan for the good of Dol Amroth and eventually for love."

I have never seen my father so resolved and unyielding over any issue. He looked very depressed and broken – it was frightening.

I could not help but cry. It was hard to keep my tears back. On one hand, I only want to marry for love but on the other I can't bear to see my father in this state. The idea of marrying a stranger sounds revolting. And this talk about duty before love. Oh Valar, this is cruel.

But I knew my crying will not bring any answers. I need a plan and fast.

* * *

(Imrahil's POV) 

I was pleasantly surprised when Lothiriel stopped her crying and suggested that she visit Eomer at Rohan. I know she will come to her senses eventually but I didn't expect it so soon.

Her plan to travel as one of her ladies to Rohan will give her the time to know Eomer. Why, she may be convinced that Eomer was a man worthy of her love. I am sure that Eomer will make a good impression on her. After all, marrying her off to Eomer is the best way to stop the other "potential" suitors from Harad and even Umbar from sending their proposals. I had always managed to counter them diplomatically by telling them Lothiriel is still a child. Besides we were at war mostly. But now the days of peace are here and Lothiriel will be turning twenty one in six months. Alliances must be forged and I cannot hold them off forever.

I will also write a brief letter for Lothiriel's introduction and agreed with her that the detailed plan should be only communicated personally to the king when she sees him. She is truly intelligent and thoughtful and was concerned that our approach may be seen as too forceful and would scare Eomer.

On my part, I will approach him when I see him in Minas Tirith in the next few days. I just hope that Eomer will be more open to the idea of an arranged marriage than Lothiriel. He is a straightforward and easy man and I am sure he will not say no.


	2. Chapter 2: First Impressions

**Chapter 2: First Impressions**

(Lothiriel's POV)

I left my father with the impression that I was warming up to his idea of the arranged marriage. Of course, this is far from the truth. I learnt long ago that the safest place is always nearest the enemy. And I had to get closer to this King of Rohan to find out how I could work out my freedom.

I told my father that I should go to Rohan to meet the man I was to marry. Playing on the fear that I may be kidnapped and used as ransom by our enemies, I also suggested that my visit to be a low profile one. I was to assume a different identity - as one of the ladies-in-waiting of Princess Lothiriel who will help the Princess document the life at Meduseld. The information was needful so that she will be better prepared for her future duties at Golden Hall - which was very true. I would go to Rohan only accompanied by Lana, one of my actual maids-in-waiting. There will be no other persons from Dol Amroth with us when we are at the Golden Hall.

My father bought into the idea very easily and quickly and did not object to my plan. Afterall, this would only reflect well on Dol Amroth and it will also allow me to know this King Eomer better.

We arrived at the gates of Meduseld. And now it all begins.

* * *

(Eomer's POV) 

It has been nearly a week since I returned from Minas Tirith. The rebuilding of Rohan has always been on my mind but it has been more so these last few days. At least it keeps me too busy to think about Imrahil's proposal.

But the matter could not be delayed forever and was finally tabled to my advisors. I was hoping that they would object to the match and then I can be a free man again. But I was wrong and was dismayed that they too shared the opinion that Imrahil's proposal was beneficial to the country.

"But I am talking about marrying a princess from a foreign land. Don't you prefer a noble woman from Rohan to take this place next to me?" I asked my advisors.

"But she is a princess from Dol Amroth. We understand that the blood of the Numenoreans run true there…." And what followed sounded like recitations from a horse breeding handbook. I sat there listening to my advisors extol the virtues of marrying this princess of descended from high men of the West and how it will "refine" the bloodline of the Eorl. I can't believe these people!

As we spoke, a guard came and announced the arrival of two women from Dol Amroth with a letter from Prince Imrahil.

"What should I do with them your Highness" asked the guard.

"Bring them in here" I said looking at my advisors who were most surprised since we were in the thick of discussing Dol Amroth.

The two ladies entered the hall and approached me with a grace which I can only accord to the Elves. Both had raven black hair and skin as fair as ivory. One of them passed me a letter from the Prince which I read quietly on my own. I understood from the letter that the Princess would be making a trip but more was to be revealed to me privately in person regarding the visit. When everyone was dismissed except the two ladies, I asked

"May I know more about the Princess' intended visit?"

"She is already here, milord" said one of them.

The ladies promptly introduced themselves and explained to me what the visit was about. I learnt from them that the Princess was disguised as a lady in waiting on the pretext of studying and documenting the life of Meduseld for her mistress. They requested that for security reasons, this knowledge be kept a secret and that the princess be treated like ladies in waiting or servants.

"It sounds like a very intelligent plan" I commented "And whoever who came up with it, must be very clever".

"Why thank you, your Highness you are most kind with your words" replied Lady Ariel as she did a curtsy.

I was surprised by Ariel's forwardness and lack of humilty. She is certainly not shy and coy like most of the ladies in waiting I have encountered in Gondor. She also appeared to be very confident and was not afraid of looking at me either.

"Lady Ariel is very intelligent and learned. Sometimes, the Prince – my father would seek her counsel in some of his decisions. I wouldn't know what I would do without her" began the Princess, who was to be known as Lady Lana.

"Then I would say Dol Amroth is blessed with the good fortune of such a beautiful and intelligent advisor." I complimented looking at Ariel closely. "I wish I could say the same of my own advisors."

Ariel laughed and then said "But they are all men from what I see. I am sure you find them intelligent but not beautiful I hope."

I was never good with words and did not know how to reply to that witty remark. I kept silent and looked serious while the princess and her lady laughed with each other. When they realized that I did not join in, they stopped and apologized.

"So you are the Princess Lothiriel who is to be known as Lady Lana and you are Lady Ariel" I pointed out once more, making sure I remembered who was who.

It was indeed hard to distinguish the two as they did look very alike. But truthfully, I think I was more distracted by their beauty as I found them very pleasing to look at. I made a mental note that Ariel the more exuberant and lively of the two. She also reminds me of Queen Arwen who is a beautiful and intelligent advisor to King Elessar.

Then I kept my eye mostly on Princess Lothiriel who was the quieter of the two, the one intended for me.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV) 

So this is the man my father has been pushing me to marry. On first glance, he looked more like a savage warrior than a learned king. He was a big, very muscular man and looked very fierce. His eyes were grey and piercing which I found to be very penetrating as he looked at me from time to time. He also looked rather sullen and cold and seemed wary of us. He didn't talk or smile much. But despite the stotic and icy exterior, he was very well mannered and didn't have much airs. He seems also rather straightforward when it comes to words. Eomer, I gather is a simple man.

That evening, when we had dinner with the King, I took the opportunity to study him more closely. He looked very different in the evening. He wore a green robe and a belt engraved with horses. He also loosened his golden hair which was tied up in the day and wore a simple circlet on his crown. He smiled a little bit more which was rather attractive. And I could see a certain sort of grace emerging from this man of the north as he spoke to Lana.

I was wondering if I should he should better depicted as a wild and unsophisticated Elf or a horse - for both were strong, fierce and yet graceful. I smiled to myself as I thought about this. And he caught me.

"What are you smiling about, Lady Ariel? Did I say something funny?" he asked.

"Oh" I started feeling a little embarrassed. I couldn't tell the King directly that I was thinking about him. And then I quickly said "I was thinking about horses." seeing that horses were engraved all over the pillars in the dining room.

"Horses?"

"Yes, what you shared reminded me of horses" I said rather carefully wondering where it might lead to.

"And what did I share that remind you of horses?" he asked softly and looked at me with great interest.

I took a deep breath and said "Actually it was not really what you shared, milord. It is just how you shared and told the stories of your people…that reminds me of the strength and grace of horses."

Then I went on making up (as skillfully as I could) what one might call a thesis on horses and the King of Rohan. At the end my discourse, both the King and I were looking very satisfied with the conversation. I was obviously so proud of my own wit to flatter Eomer in the highest way. And Eomer of course was so blown away to know that a lady of the sea would see him as horse.

The conversation then went into other things. Eomer kept talking to Lana mostly but there were moments I noticed Eomer's eye looking long toward me. I could see that he was very taken in by what I said.

I must be careful not to flatter him further or it ruin everything.

I will wait for the right time to bring him into the next part of my plan.

* * *

(Eomer's POV) 

I lay awake thinking of Lothiriel. I was glad that the princess was beautiful, polite and gracious. I reckon she would make a good queen.

My thoughts also strayed to her maid Ariel who was witty and intelligent. I also found her exposition on the horses very intriguing. It tells me that she was quite learned of Rohan's customs which will be of great help should I wed her mistress.

But the question on my mind was love? Do I love the princess?

Perhaps, not yet. Even Eowyn took time to accept Faramir as her true love and she was even in love with someone else. Yes, it is a question of time and knowing the princess.

Now if I was to marry for love, perhaps I could try to nurture some romantic feelings for the princess. But how does it happen?

So I closed my eyes and visualized myself and the princess in the situation where I found Eowyn and Faramir a month ago. Yes, I could see it all happening but somehow there was a sense of distance within my heart.

What was I doing? Could I make myself fall for the princess? I mustn't force myself. It will come to me eventually. In time.

Then in my dreams, I saw myself again in a similar situation but the lady was Ariel. It felt delightful yet forbidden. My heart was beating very fast as if I was running away from something. I woke up and muttered some foul Rohhiric to myself before lying down again.

Where did these thoughts and feelings with Lady Ariel come from? It must have her intelligent remarks about horses and me early in the evening. I better not think about Ariel least I fall for her instead. What am I going to tell the Prince if that should happen? I mustn't and cannot fall for her.

I better watch myself.


	3. Chapter 3: Falling In Place

**Chapter 3 – Falling In Place**

(Lothiriel's POV)

The next three days that followed were pleasant. We were left to ourselves mostly in the day as the king had to attend to the affairs of Rohan. We only managed to see King Eomer during dinner. And they were rather boring to say the least.

It is true that Eomer is a not a conversational man or the social type. He always asked the same few questions to which we gave the rather similar replies. There was very little to do in the evenings as well. The Golden Hall was largely a place for men and they would spend most of the time drinking, smoking and talking about the war. There was little or no music, dancing or games for us ladies to play. And it is no wonder that there was nothing much going for the ladies when I found out that there wasn't a queen since Queen Elfhild died.

That evening at dinner, Eomer asked

"So Lady Lana, if you were to describe Meduseld in one word, what might it be?"

Finally, a different question tonight.

Lana couldn't think of anything to say immediately and requested to pass until she composed her thoughts. Then Eomer looked at me and asked. "And Lady Ariel? What would you say in a word?"

"Boring" came my reply straight out of my mouth. And then I realized it was too late to take it back. Oh no! I just insult the King and his household! Lana looked at me with horror. Eomer was peeved but remained calm in his stotic way. I had to think quickly to cover up my slip of the tongue.

"I don't mean to be rude, your Highness" I continued quickly "for I find your hospitality of your hall warm and sincere. But I have also learnt that the people of Rohan treasure honestly above proprietary and that they rather hear the truth than be led to believe otherwise."

Eomer smiled and nodded. "That is true and I am glad you are getting to know us. Since your comment was offered in sincerity, I will not take offense. But do tell me how you came to say that life in Meduseld can be boring". He looked rather amused as I began to list out what I thought could be different to bring more life to the Golden Hall.

"Most of your ideas I gather stems from your perspective as a woman. And you speak very well - as if you were the Queen of the Mark, Lady Ariel."

I looked at Lana and lowered my head respectfully. "But that I will not be. I am just the hand maiden of the Princess. If she is Queen, she will decide if she would do as I have suggested."

"Please forgive her, King Eomer. My Ariel does have a quick tongue and I hope she has not offended you in any manner." Lana quickly added.

"On the contrary, Lady Lana, your Ariel brought up many good points. I have been too busy over the rebuilding of Rohan and have yet to spend time thinking about the affairs of Golden Hall. Moreover, there is no …."

He broke off and drank his wine instead.

Lana and I looked at each other wondering what he would say next. But he never finished what he was saying.

"Let's go out of this place" he continued "and let me show you more of the country. Perhaps a day out will take away a little of the boredom that Lady Ariel spoke of. For I am afraid there is little else I can do about the Golden Hall presently even though I may be King".

"What a wonderful idea" said Lana.

And I just nodded in agreement.

* * *

(Eomer's POV)

A picnic was just the thing I need to think out Imrahil's proposal. And it was something different for my guests from Dol Amroth as well. I knew I have been an awful host entertaining the ladies and wished Eowyn was here.

We all dismounted from our horses and before I knew it Princess Lothiriel was busy unpacking the food basket. Then I saw that Ariel was walking to the tree on top of the hill and left the chores of setting up the picnic to the princess. What in Middle Earth does that maid think she is doing?

"Shouldn't this be the work for Ariel" I asked the princess.

"Well, yes. But since we are now under disguise, it is all part of the act" the princess replied.

"But there is no one else here but us. Besides I find that she seems to …"

"Seems to what, King Eomer."

"O never mind." I replied not knowing what I was going to say. I just felt strange that Ariel somehow always stood out before the princess. It was incredible that Lothiriel was not even remotely jealous of this. Maybe it is just part of Lothiriel's good nature – her magnanimity and grace to allow Ariel and maybe all her ladies such freedom of speech and behavior.

But I saw it as my duty to help Lothiriel put her servant in her place.

"Let me go and get her, so that she may do her duty."

"No, please let her be. I am sure she is so excited to be out here. Anyway, by the time you return I would have already finished with the task. Consider that she has my permission to go. "

But I was determined to give Ariel a sound ticking off.

So I trudged up the hill and found her under the tree, looking at the plains below. The wind was blowing into her hair and her eyes were closed, She crossed her arms and her hands were on her heart. It looked as if she was praying or wishing for something.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV)

Eomer came. I could feel the wind carry his warmth toward me. I opened my eyes slowly and found him looking at me strangely.

"What are you doing?" he asked. He looked flustered and sounded angry.

"I am thinking about home" I replied. "And these fields are like the sea - only green."

And then I told Eomer all I felt. The beauty of Rohan and the sea.

His anger left as he heard what I said.

"I must see it for myself one day" he said. "I must see if this sea of yours can outmatch the beauty of these fields"

"We shall know when you come to our fair city, King Eomer." I added "But your Highness, were you angry over something as you came. You looked annoyed."

"Well… now that you mentioned it, Lady Ariel" he said "I thought that I come to remind you that you shouldn't have left the princess down there setting up the picnic..."

And then I realized that I was out of line again. Being a maid in waiting was a lot harder than I thought.

"Indeed, you are right your Highness. I should be the one setting up the picnic… it is just take I was carried away by the beauty of your country and came up here in my excitement. Please, excuse me. I will go now to do what is required of me." I said quickly and started to go down the hill.

"There is no need. The princess has given you permission to stay up here."

"Then why did you still come, King Eomer".

"I thought that I should tell you off for her sake. I feel she is not able to …."

"Not able to ..what?"

"Keep you under control."

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows knowing that Lana would not dare say such things "Did she say that?"

"No … but I just did."

Now who does Eomer think he is? Keep me under control indeed. How dare he!

"Then I think O King that it could be that you are the one that is not able to keep me under control. But then I don't owe my allegiance to you." I retorted, not caring if I was rude or not.

"Not yet." he smirked.

Not yet? What does he mean by 'not yet'. For a moment, I thought he was serious about the arranged marriage.

"And by that do you mean you are planning on marrying Princess Lothiriel?" I questioned.

"Why not? She will make a good queen. I find her kind and beautiful. Fair and generous. And now, I also add patience and magnanimity in her dealings with her servants."

"But are you in love with her?" I shot back.

He did not answer me and looked troubled at my last question.

And I perceived that my moment has arrived.

* * *

(Eomer's POV)

She asked me if I loved her.

I didn't know what to say.

Who can understand where I am now in? It feels like I am caught in a web of fear. I wished not to offend Imrahil and finally reasoned that the best way is to fall in love with the princess. And now that I have met her, it does not appear to be so hard. Yet my heart tells me - I don't understand why – she is not the one. Do I love her? I can, perhaps with time.

"It is a matter of time. I believe I will." I said slowly.

"And if in time, you don't … what will the princess be?" she asked looking concerned.

"I don't know! I wished I could say that I love her now but…" I blurted, feeling flustered and blank.

"You do not?"

"No. Not yet. I am sure that in time things will change" I was becoming confused by Ariel's interrogation.

"Will you really love the princess?"

"I am sure I will."

"Why are you so sure?"

"Because I choose to. If we had more time with each other I am sure I can find out how I could love her for what she is. It is the only way."

"And you are sure she is everything you want?"

"I have to make it so." I replied in exasperation.

Ariel was quiet for sometime as she looked out to the plains. Then she continued,

"King Eomer, it is clear that you will love your queen whoever she may be. You could choose to do this with any other woman you please but why Princess Lothiriel? It sounds to me that there is more to this. If I may say your Highness, perhaps you were forced upon this path of action."

She was right. I was forced into this in the first place. Ariel looked at me very kindly and her eyes were gentle. It seemed she could understand what I was going through.

I did not say anything.

"So you are forced into this" she added. "And would you trust me if I told you I could help you?" she asked.

And so I told her all about my meeting with Imrahil and my reasons for my present course of action.

At the end, Ariel curtsied before me and said "King Eomer, I thank you for your kindness to the Prince and his household. The Prince was right and he has mentioned that you are a man of valour and deeds. I am glad you told me of this. And I can tell you that Princess Lothiriel is also here under forced circumstances for she desires only to please her father, the Prince above all things. She is not in love with you and I am sure if we work together, there will be a way out of this trap. "

"But I can't think of a way out of this at all." I said.

"Perhaps, it not for you to do anything. For the source of this trouble starts with the Prince…And if there is a way to change his mind, I reckon both you and my mistress will be free from this arrangement"

Then she continued "I have a plan. But I need you to promise you will not go to the Prince and seek for the princess' hand or my plan will not work."

"And what is your plan?"

"It is a secret, my King. I am afraid I cannot say."

I was uncomfortable with Ariel's proposal at this point. I just didn't like the fact that she was so secretive and that I had to follow her. Yet this seemed better than trying to fall in love with the princess which had a small chance of success. Given my observation of Ariel's intelligence and wit so far, peharps she could think of something.

"Well, I agree and promise not to ask the Prince Imrahil for Princess Lothiriel's hand. However, I have a condition."

"And what is that?"

"If it should happen that I truly realize in my heart that I will love the princess after her stay in Rohan is passed, I reserve the right to seek her hand."

"But if she refuses you?"

"Lady Ariel, I don't intend to cause the one I love lifelong misery by marrying her. Is it clear that I will only ask for her hand if she agrees to marry me."

And Ariel did not ask any more of me and we started down the hill.


	4. Chapter 4: Deceptions

**Chapter 4: Deceptions**

(Eomer's POV)

It has been a week after my fateful conversation with Ariel.

I have not yet fallen for Princess Lothiriel and I am very certain that it will not happen at all.

I think it all became very clear when I became acutely aware of Ariel that day on the hill. I saw that she was beautiful and charming in her own way. But was there something about her that grew on me and I cannot tell what it is.

Compared to Princess Lothiriel, Ariel seemed so much stronger in character. This plus her innate ability to talk intelligently and size up situations precisely was leading me to one conclusion - Ariel was a person the court of Rohan could really use.

Perhaps I should look for someone like her to be my Queen.

And then for many days my thoughts were about Ariel.

Didn't she say something earlier that I would choose to love the Queen in spite of who she may be?

And what if I choose her?

Ariel seemed to be in deep thought these days. I suppose she is still figuring out how she would have talk to the Prince so that he would change his mind over the marriage.

And as the days passed, it pained me to see her looking growing serious and sad. She spoke less during dinner and I missed her witty ways.

I tried to arrange to meet in private but she did not agree. She looked as if she was didn't want to see me and was suffering under the weight of the problem. I felt increasingly guilty knowing that I was the one who made her unhappy.

When I could stand it no more, I decided to talk to her whether she would see me or not.

And I found myself at the door of her room and hesitated if I should enter. Then I heard her and the princess talk. I was shocked at what I heard next.

"Well we should be ready to return in a few days."

"Yes, I think there is no point staying here further."

"And you are sure you will know what to say to the Prince?"

"Lana, don't worry I know deep down inside he really loves me and that he will keep me with him even till the end of the age. All I have to say is that I don't love Eomer and that he doesn't love me. We tried, spent this time and found out it will not work. I just have to tell him how I would indeed wither here and that Eomer is not keen either to marry. Ada will come around. "

"And King Eomer and his advisors – would they not be displeased?"

"I had Eomer promise not to press for marriage and all Ada has to do is to write to Eomer that I have decided against the proposal. The matter can be closed. Eomer is in this with us. I told him to tell his advisors that Ada's proposal was just to sound out his intentions but the decision of marriage will ultimately depend on me, the princess of Dol Amroth. Some of the advisors are already talking about this matter."

"But what will people say of you, my lady after this? Think of your own reputation milady."

"They will say what they want. And if it is that I am a difficult and very spoilt princess, well so be it. Lana, I think that a good reputation is worth very little if you have to trade it with your happiness. I told Ada that I will marry for love but he wouldn't listen. And who knows maybe after this, he would think twice before trying to pair me up with another king."

I was already too angry to listen further. I can't believe that Ariel had been lying to me since the beginning. And it now all makes perfect sense why Ariel was always behaving the way she does. She is the real Princess Lothiriel and not Lady Lana. And I have been stupid enough not to notice it.

How dare that woman deceive me! And to think that I could care for her. She is not worth it!

I was all ready to storm into the room to confront them with the truth but my reasoning mind stopped me. What good is it when this all becomes a royal diplomatic mess? And worse I may even lose Imrahil's friendship and respect!

Damn that woman, Lothiriel. She must be taught a lesson. But how could I do it? I will not let her go unpunished. I must think. For it takes a snake to outwit crafty Lothiriel.

So I returned to my quarters and worked on a plan.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV)

This morning Eomer summoned to meet me.

Something tells me that I am not right. Am I going to make a mess of things?

My plan is now almost complete. The pieces are set in place so that I would take control of the situation. Everything will be settled once I see my father and convince him to put the marriage off. There will not be any loss of face for him as long as Eomer doesn't come asking for my hand. And I am fully prepared to face the consequences of being the terrible princess of the Fourth Age. At least I think that is far better than pinning away here in the Golden Hall.

Yet I know deep down this is not really true. I doubt I could pine away in Rohan when my heart did not wish to leave. At least not yet.

The reason for this is Eomer. Since our conversation on the hill, I could not help but feel an affinity for him. At first I thought that my feelings for him was merely respect. But I was wrong. As the days passed, respect turned admiration and that lead to love.

He was all that my father had said and even more. I was impressed that he will choose to love his Queen no matter who she may be. Could such a selfless man exist? But he is one.

And he made things even worse by being kind with me. He must have noticed that I was looking was burdened and even tried to talk with me privately. But does he know that I am growing sick - thinking about him and that I deceived him?

I can't imagine if Eomer finds out. I know he values honesty and hates deception.

He is a good man and does not deserve this.

He is the King of Rohan - I have lied to a head of state!

And if my father learns of this…Oh Valar! This is going all wrong! Indeed!

Sometimes I want to run up to him to tell him the whole truth and get over this. But it will really break my heart to have Eomer hate me for my deceit and will never love me.

What should I do? The secret is making me sick.

* * *

(Eomer's POV)

I watched her carefully as she came to the study. It appears that I was not the only one who did not sleep well last night. Lothiriel looked as if she had been crying. I wondered why but when I thought about her deceptiveness, my heart hardened.

"Lady Ariel, I have something important to speak to you. It is about the arranged marriage with the Princess. I do not want you to execute whatever plan you were thinking of."

"Why is that so, King Eomer?" she asked looking a little shocked. She was clearly not expecting me to have a change of mind at this point.

And I told her that I felt lately that I might really fall in love with the princess and I just needed to have more time with her to know her. This was partly true now that I knew who Lothiriel really was.

Lothiriel looked lost for the first time since I met her and I knew she was caught off guard. Then I said

"Lady Ariel, I also called you because I needed your help."

"What do you wish me to do?" she asked softly and looking a little depressed.

"Teach me how to win the princesses' heart" I replied and smiled.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV)

I couldn't believe my ears when he said he was possibly in love with Lana. I wasn't expecting Eomer to fall for her. How could that be? But it had happened. He ruined everything! And my life!

And when he asked me to teach him how to win her heart, I felt my whole life come apart like sandcastles washed away by the sea. Life was just slipping away like the tides pulling me. And then like a huge tidal wave, the reality of his decision hit me.

Oh no! He mustn't fall in love with Lana because he would find out that she is not the real princess!

In a moment, the darkest fear gripped my heart as I thought of all the consequences that will befall me. I will be punished for lying to a King. My father's wrath will be upon me. Worse of all, Eomer's knowledge of my deceitfulness and his rejection of me.

And I felt something eating away within me when he said he wanted to know how to win Lana's heart.

But thankfully my mind was strong and I knew I had to control the damage. I had already lost Eomer, I can't lose my father's respect now.

It was time to tell the truth.

* * *

(Eomer's POV)

Lothiriel turned white and pale when I made my request to win the princess' heart. I admit it was cruel of me tease her like this but it was an opportunity I could not resist passing up. I was so caught up with my vindictiveness to set things right.

I admit I also enjoyed the fact that I was on the upper hand with words. At least for once.

Her eyes were almost in tears which puzzled me but I suppose women cry when they are in fear. But I was not going to let up until she confessed. So I waited.

"King Eomer" she suddenly said "I am afraid that I am not able to help you with your request."

"And why can't you help me." I asked wondering what she would say.

"My duty is to the princess and it is her interest that I seek, not yours. If it be that she is of the same mind and heart, I will most certainly oblige. But she is not."

I must say that I was impressed that Lothiriel still had the capacity to play with words. Her mind was certainly very strong and focussed. If it was not for her deceitfulness, I am sure I would have been totally taken in by her. She fascinates me.

"But with time and my sincerity to love her, would she not be moved?" I asked thinking of Faramir and how he won my sister over.

"I don't know, your Highness for I …"

I was loosing patience with these confusing diplomatic word games. They take too long and I wanted to get to the point. And so I decided I should put the pressure on Lothiriel to tell me the truth.

"Why should you not know? I interjected. "You are also a woman like her. Just tell me what will it take to win your love?"

And then the truth came.


	5. Chapter 5: Truth

**Chapter 5: Truth**

(Lothiriel's POV)

Everything within went out of control when Eomer asked me to tell him how to love me. I couldn't tell if he said it as if he was directing the comment to me or if he meant that I was a woman and should also know the way to a woman's heart. Either way I was too confused to think.

But I remembered what I must say.

"I can't tell you King Eomer because there is something more important I need to say."

"And what else is so important" he asked looking bewildered.

"Lady Lana is not the real Princess Lothiriel but I am."

Eomer did not believe me when I told him the truth. He looked shocked at first and then became angry.

"You are lying!" he said "How could you lie to me? Do you not know you can die for lying to me?"

"I am not lying, King Eomer. This is the truth."

"And what this means is that you have been lying before this?"

"Yes".

What followed was an angry king ranting and raving at me for my crime of treachery. He told me that this was very serious considering that that there was an arrangement proposed that we were to wed.

"I will not live with a deceitful woman" were the words he used. I was very hurt and upset that he thought so little of me. I wished he would try to understand why I had to do this but he was not open.

And when he said he would write to my father to have me punished for my actions, I pleaded with him that he not tell Ada. But Eomer was resolved that I be admonished so that I learnt my lesson.

Seeing that I had no ability to convince him otherwise, I left his presence in tears.

* * *

(Eomer's POV)

I was pleased that I managed to outwit Lothiriel at her own game.

Yet something inside me tells me that I have done a very foolish thing.

She was obviously upset that I would tell her father. But a part of me also tells me that she was hurt by something else.

As I started on my paperwork, my heart became very heavy and I wondered if I went out of hand. I acted selfishly and hurt Lothiriel even if it were justified. I was a King not an immature stable boy of thirteen. I knew I should not have acted up to spite her.

As the day went on, the scene of Lothiriel's crying came back many times to distract me. The need to go after her and comfort her gnawed within me. My whole day became frustrating and I became rather sulky. I realized that I was also feeling the pain that I cannot bear to see her in hurt. Or worse, that I was the one who hurt her.

Do I really care for her after she deceived me? And it dawned on me that I did not know even know why she deceived me. Being an intelligent girl she was, she would know the risk by doing so. I reasoned that she should have the chance to explain herself before I decided if I should tell her father.

I felt even more stupid and started to regret my behavior. I must make it up to her. Somehow.

I decided that I had to see her and to make sure that she was well.

Then I was told by Lana that Lothiriel had gone away.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV)

After crying for nearly an hour, I suddenly took hold of myself and stopped. I know when I had lost and that I should not waste anymore tears or time over my heartbreak for Eomer.

"Eomer, you are a lost cause." I repeated to myself endlessly. "But not Ada."

I needed to find a way to stop Eomer from writing to Ada about what I did at Rohan. I had already lost the respect of a man that I could love, I was not going to lose respect of another who already loved me.

I knew the best way was to go back to Dol Amroth and seek my father's understanding and clemency. But I still remembered that he trusted me to be truthful to Eomer all this time. But now I have disgraced him with my foolishness and feared his wrath.

And then I thought of cousin Faramir who was in the Itillien. Faramir was wise and gentle but more importantly his wife is Eomer's sister. Perhaps, she could understand my plight and would help me stop Eomer from telling my father.

I informed Lana that I needed to journey to the Itillien to see Faramir and that I will back soon. But I did not tell her what happened in the morning or of Eomer's intentions toward her. I didn't want to spoil things for her and knew that she would make up her own mind about him. Bless the girl if she becomes the Queen.

My journey to cousin Faramir's took me by the place where Eomer and I had our picnic. I wished to ride up the hill to see the fields one last time but decided against that.

I rode further and came to a wooded area. It felt safe and I decided to stop for a rest.

* * *

(Eomer's POV)

I took off with Firefoot immediately when I found out from Lana that Lothiriel had left. She was going to see her cousin Faramir and my sister. I should have known that the girl would never give up trying to worm her way out of trouble. She must be so afraid but she is also quite a fighter.

After some time, I came to the woods and noticed that there were fresh tracks on the ground. I suspected that Lothiriel may be near. I dismounted and walked quietly.

And then I found her near a stream. Her back was turned to me but I could see she was crying.

I crept up behind her but she heard me. She turned and saw me and quickly drew out her dagger from her saddle. She looked as if she would fight me.

She looked deadly.

"Lothiriel, please calm down and return with me" I said nicely looking at her and her dagger.

"Why should I" she said stepping back as I advanced.

"Lothiriel, I wish that you return with me. Don't make this difficult"

"It is not I who is difficult but you, Eomer. I will not go back with you?" and she pointed the dagger toward me.

"Lothiriel, think of your father who entrusted me to keep you safe. I cannot let anything happen to you."

"I will not face my father before you and have you shame him because of me."

Not wanting to waste time and hear any more threatening words, I decided to give in.

"Please Lothiriel , I would do what you wish it if it were not beyond me" I offered not knowing if she would use this opportunity to ask for half of my kingdom. "Please just put the dagger away and come to me."

She made me promise that I would not tell her father of her deception which I acceded. The whole affair had become so ridiculous that I wanted to stop it as soon as I could. What worried me was the dagger in Lothiriel's hand. She was still holding onto it.

Then I ran to her and grab her hand. The dagger dropped onto the ground and before I knew what I was doing, I pulled her toward me and I held her tightly.

I was so relieved that she was safe with me and my guilt from the morning was eased.

"Don't ever run away from me again" I whispered tenderly.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV)

Eomer startled me. He came toward me and took my dagger. Then he pulled me into his arms forcefully and gripped me hard on my waist. His hold was strong and tight. I could hardly breathe.

I was too worn out to fight him and just rested my head on his chest. I had my arms around him and started to cry again.

He told me not to run away from him and I was greatly comforted by that. It sounded as if he was afraid to lose me and that I was important to him. It was so unbearable that I was so close to him physically yet I did not know what was in his heart.

He didn't say anything but looked kindly at me. He wiped the tears off my eyes but as he did that, he tried to kiss me.

This was all that I was waiting for after so many days - that he would desire me. But I remembered all he said in the morning and pushed him away.

Eomer look a bit hurt by my recoil and asked me what was wrong.

"You are a worse than a liar. . . " I started.

"I am no liar." he said indignantly.

"Have you so easily forgotten what you said this morning? Or must I remind you?"

"What did I say?"

"You said that you were going to love Lana and how could you behave this way toward me?"

"When did I say I will love Lana?"

"How dare you lie blatantly to me? You said so this morning, You heartless man, how could you forget."

"I did not say I would love Lana. I told you that I want to win the princess's heart." he said.

* * *

(Eomer's POV)

And that was how it became my turn to confess. I told Lothiriel that I already knew of her true identity when I saw her in the morning.

She went into a fit of rage.

"Why did you do this to me? You are so cruel to use my father to hurt me!"

"But it was you who started this in the first place." came my reply. "If you didn't lie to me before, I would have …."

Lothiriel did not wait for me to finish. She turned to run away from me again. And I went after her and caught her again.

"Why did you do this, Lothiriel? Why did you lie to me?"

"I wished I did not have to … but you do not understand what it is like for a woman to be trapped in a relationship with a man whom she will not love for life."

She was right I did not understand that at all. I was not a woman. What she said reminded me of Eowyn and that she too was terrified of such arrangements before.

Remorse came over me and I looked down. I loosen my grip on her.

"I am sorry that you feel this way about things. Now I know why you had to do this." I said.

"I am sorry too that I lied to you. I am to be blamed as much." she replied.

And with that, everything became quiet and we made our way back to the horses. Firefoot was still where he was but Lothiriel's horse was missing. I offered the horse to Lothiriel and was prepared to walk.

"This is not my horse and so I will ride with you" she said quickly "You must be very tired after all this too".

The ride back was a slow trot. Lothiriel was leaning against my body and had fallen asleep. I had my arms wrapped over her as I took control of the reins. The sky grew dark and it was getting cold. Night was upon us, yet I felt something wonderful and light about having her with me.

I was close to her now and could sense how complete I would be if I could just kiss her.

But she did not love me. She said so earlier. I felt terrible and tempted at the same time. I wasn't sure of myself before her.

The moon was already out and it was full tonight. We came by the place where we had our picnic. Then, Lothiriel suddenly stirred from her sleep and asked me to stop.

Lothiriel asked if we could ride up the hill. She wanted to see the fields in the moonlight one last time.

Yes, one last time. I said to myself…and it will be if she never returns to Rohan. And as we rode up the hill, I found myself full of regret. I wished I had the time to know the real Lothiriel more. But life it seems, deceived me.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV)

I was close to him once more. My eyes were closed but I was not asleep. His deception in the morning surprised me and I was very angry with him. Yet I was secretly glad that he wasn't in love with Lana. I was relieved.

For a long time, we just rode and I was wondering if he would try to kiss me again. I just wished somehow he would show me that he could love me. But nothing happened, he did not even say a word.

In my heart I feared I lost the opportunity to know him. And after today, I won't be surprised if he doesn't want to know or love me. Was he afraid of me? Did I scare him away? or hurt him? Perhaps he saw how I was too difficult, too cunning or complicated to be with. He is slipping away from me. I was very unsure of what to say and was sad.

Then I opened my eyes and saw that it was the hill where we had our picnic. I asked him to take me up there.

I wonder what it was like under the light of the moon. This will be my last look at the beauty of Rohan.

We were on the top of the hill and saw the moonlight on the plains.

"They look like waves!" I exclaimed. For a moment, I forgotten my sadness. I smiled and turned to look at Eomer and found him looking into me. It felt as if he was trying to search me with his eyes.

Then I tried to get off his horse but it was not easy. He came down and helped me.

And we found ourselves facing each other again. My hands were on his shoulder and he was holding my waist but not tightly. For a while, we stood there looking at each other. His eyes seemed to be locked into mine and he held onto me not wanting to let go.

And I wasn't about to release him either.

* * *

(Eomer's POV)

Lothiriel kissed me gently on my cheek and that re-awakened the forbidden feeling I had in my dream.

"I am sorry" she said.

"What are you sorry about" I asked feeling terrible that I was holding back the kiss I wanted to give her.

"That I am not able to keep my word to you about changing the marriage arrangement."

I was confused by her words. Did she still want out from the marriage by saying this? I didn't want to guess anymore and had to know what she wanted.

"And what would you have me do, Princess? That I break the arrangement for you?" I asked hoping that I would find some evidence that she let me love her. And I knew what I told her before in this same place that I would marry for love.

"I would prefer that you do what you want, not because of what I wish." she said, looking at me as if she wanted me to say something.

I knew I need to stand up for what I felt was true.

By that time, it was just impossible to hold back everything I want to do to her and so I pulled her into my arms to kiss her softly. She did not push me away this time but held me tightly. And I so kissed her again more passionately.

"What I want" I finally said "is to know how to win the princess' heart."


	6. Chapter 6: Being True

**Chapter 6: Being True**

(Lothiriel's POV)

It was very late last night when we returned to Meduseld. All I could remember was that Eomer and I found it hard to stop kissing each other. It was as if we were making up for all the moments lost.

Lana was worried that something went wrong but I assured her otherwise. She did not know that Eomer knew my real identity and I did not tell her what happened.

It will be my secret.

It was late afternoon when I next saw Eomer. I was informed that I was to see him in his study regarding the state relations with Dol Amroth. When I arrived, he was finishing a meeting with some of his advisors. They were dismissed shortly and we found ourselves alone in the room.

"Good afternoon and how are you faring today, King Eomer" I inquired as I curtsied.

"Very well. Lady Ariel. Thank you for your concern" he replied.

He came closer to me and whispered "There is no one here, Lothiriel" and proceeded to kiss me.

"Does anyone know who I am?" I asked. I was trembling slightly as he continued to kiss my ear.

"I will not tell anyone about you. It is our secret. Isn't that what you want?"

"Yes" I replied.

We continued to kiss for a while and then I asked "Eomer, aren't you afraid that someone will enter and see us this way? You are still working, aren't you?"

"Pursuing better relations with Dol Amroth is work" he said cheekily.

I was not amused and glanced at the door. "It is locked" he said.

"Really?" I wondered how he did it without my knowledge. It was only much later that I found out that the doors could be set to lock when someone closed them.

Eomer was turning to out to be someone altogether different. He is not as simple as he first appeared to be and I felt very dangerous near him.

* * *

(Eomer's POV)

"Are you afraid of something?" I asked Lothiriel. She was nervous and I wanted to get to the point.

"Yes" came her guarded reply. "I think that you are a different person today. Scheming. And rather bold with your approach to women" and she looked me with eyebrows raised.

"And does that frighten you?" I asked looking into her eyes "I am never like this at all. It is only when I think of you and how I am to spend time what little time I have with you that I go to such extreme measures."

"Do you trust me?" I continued, looking at the door and then to her.

"I trust you to behave yourself" she grinned and then she kissed me fervently. I knew it would take more than a locked door to scare Lothiriel.

"I think you need to behave too. You are leading me on." I muttered when the kiss broke.

"I will be careful." she said flirtatiously.

I carried her in my arms and brought her to an inner chamber of the study. There was a small bed where I rested in the day and I sat her upon it. I could see that she was surprised by what I was doing and could hear her heart beating very fast. I couldn't tell if she was fearful but her eyes were bold and were fixed upon me.

"Why did you bring me here" she whispered into my ear "What are your intentions, Eomer?" Her hand was stroking my neck as I sat next to her. Her touch was light against me. I felt a burning sensation where her hand was.

"I thought that we will be more comfortable here." And I took her hand from my neck and kissed it. "I swear I will not do anything you don't want me to". She was flushing.

"And do you know what I don't want?" she asked. I could see that she was nervous again and I didn't want to scare her.

"You must tell me won't you? I can only know in time" and kissed her gently on the neck.

"Is this how Rohan manage state relations with your other neighbors?" she asked trying to stop me from kissing her.

"Not at all. I usually leave such matters to my advisors… but in the case of Dol Amroth, it requires my personal attention." I said playing along.

"And why is that so?"

"A delicate case has come to my attention"

"And what is that?"

"It seems that the princess had deceived Rohan and the King. A punishment must be met out for the act of treachery" I replied.

"And what sort of punishment will that be?" she asked with a smile in mock concern.

"The King will have to decide soon" I stated rather seriously.

"If it is not too late, may I plead that the King show mercy?" she asked.

"And what are her grounds for mercy?"

She looked at me in the eye and then kissed me fiercely on the lips. I had to return her kiss with equal passion and replied "I will see that she be treated justly"

"Oh, and what is that?" she inquired.

"I will tell you later" I said moving to kiss her lips again. But she put her finger to my lips and stopped me.

"I wish to know now" and then she knelt on the bed making herself taller than me. "Tell me now or I …"

I did not let her finish her sentence and pinned her down onto the bed. I was on top of her and asked "Or you will what?"

"I will tell my father that you were behaving improperly toward me!" she threatened.

"Would you? I thought you rather liked this" and then I proceeded to kiss her. Everything was definitely going out of hand and bordering onto improper behavior. But I enjoyed testing how far Lothiriel would go with me. She seemed to be also enjoying the tease.

Until I realized she was not responding under me and seemed frozen.

I felt a little unsure and stopped. "Lothiriel, did I scare you?"

"No, but you are very heavy" came her witty reply. I laughed and rolled to her side. She looked at me with desire and parted her lips slightly.

"Is everything alright?" I asked

"I am fine. But please won't you tell me what the punishment is?" and she took my hand and put it on her cheek.

It was hard to say no to Lothiriel.

"The King has decided that the princess will be delayed in her return to Dol Amroth." My hand was tracing her features on her face.

"And how long will you keep me?" she asked.

"Until I know that your are mine". I replied and kissed her with all I had.

"I cannot not return you to Dol Amroth and lose you to another man"

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV)

Eomer was turning out to be a quite lover. I found his bold and decisive expressions of affections very sensual. It was less than a day and I am already lying in bed with him. I was still cautious about what this may lead to, yet I could not resist such romantic adventure. I cannot imagine what would happen if we had more time together.

Eomer was a person of action. I could tell that he was very serious in keeping me back in Rohan. His kiss was very hard on my lips and drew all life out of me. I knew I was losing myself to him and had to break his power. I thought about my father and my brothers who would kill him if they knew what we were doing now.

I pushed him away from me.

"Eomer, this is kidnap. My father will kill you if I don't return." I said gravely.

"It is not kidnap if I have your consent to stay with me." he replied.

We started kissing again. It was hard to stop once it starts. I had to pushed him away again to regain my composure and rationality.

"Do I have your approval to carry out this sentence, my love?" he asked

"Eomer, are you seducing me into complying." I finally answered.

"I won't call this seduction. Perhaps strong persuasion is a better term. Is it effective?" he said rather slyly.

I looked at Eomer and knew he was not going to take no for an answer. He was persistent and was wearing me out with his advances.

"I will stay with you if you can get pass my father and brothers…" I chuckled.

"Your father and brothers!" Eomer growled and slapped his forehead.

"Yes, my love. Under the customs of Dol Amroth, I am still under custody of my father as I am not yet twenty one. You must get his approval" I said rather triumphantly, sitting up next to him.

Eomer looked up at me and then moved behind me on the bed. He held me from behind and wrapped his arms around me. "Then I appeal to the wisdom of the intelligent and beautiful princess to help me. Think of a way that she may stay." he whispered.

His hands started explore me as he spoke. His touch was insistent but not rough. A warm delicious feeling ran down my body. I did not say anything but allowed myself to feel the pleasure.

"Should I stop?" he finally asked.

"Yes." I said reluctantly but firmly. And he did.

"You are distracting me from thinking!" I added. He laughed at me and said

"You are beautiful when you think"

I finally came up with the idea that we write letters to my father explaining my delay in return. Eomer would tell my father that my unannounced visit coincided with some urgent matters of the state. This took him away and he could not attend to me. He was to suggest that my stay be extended for another week so that we could get better acquainted.

I, on the other hand would personally write to my father that I was agreeable to Eomer's new arrangement as we did not spend anytime together.

"Do you think we are lying?" I asked Eomer when my letter was finished.

"Absolutely not" he said without looking up at me. He was much slower in writing his letter and had not finished.

"I only just met the real princess, yesterday. You were someone else before that" he continued.

"So you will always be truthful?" I asked.

"Always" he replied.


	7. Chapter 7: A Secret Admirer

**A/N:**

Thank you all my reviewers. I must admit that I am no Tolkien purist but I do intend to stick to most of the ME norms as much as possible.

It is going to take more time than I expected to make this E/L story worth remembering. I would liked to have it end shortly after the last chapter but realized this would not do justice to the character development. Some of my future postings may take longer. And I'll try to find ways to bring out more what Eomer and Lothiriel think of each other.

BTW, I like to know how you readers and fans of E/L fiction would like see how it continues. I am still working out the story for the upcoming chapters and so it would be good to have your input early. Make this your story!

**Chapter 7: A Secret Admirer**

(Lothiriel's POV)

_Dear Lady Ariel_

_Flower maiden, you delight me in a mysterious way_

_But I cannot hold you or you'll fade away._

_Secret Admirer_

I found this note with a flower I have never seen before. It was red flower with and thorns along the stem. I picked the flower from the door and put it to my lips. The thorns were tricky to handle but the petals were soft. I liked the flower. Unapproachable yet sweet. Like Eomer.

I read the note till the words became a memory etched in the mind. How did he know about my name? I had the impression that the Rohhirim are not good with words or lore.

My heart is thrilled. Eomer's pen is as mighty as his sword!

It was barely less than an hour since I left the study. And I remembered that Eomer is not as simple as he appeared to be. I wondered what else he is hiding beneath that cold and fierce exterior.

Lana was troubled by the secret admirer more so than I was. It was good that she reminded me that we were not attract any undue attention and was worried that this might give away our cover. We agreed that we should report this matter the king at an opportune time. I told her to tell him on my behalf since she was my mistress. I think it was better this way because I could imagine how difficult it would be for me to talk about this in a concealed way.

At dinner, Eomer was his usual self and engaged us in the same typical dinner conversations, as always.

Of course, I was bursting to tell him how much I loved his gift. But I had to keep checking myself mentally not to say anything in front of others. How does one keep a secret such as this? It was frustrating especially when he appeared so unaffected. Does he not feel the tension as I do within?

And then Lana spoke to Eomer regarding the note.

Eomer looked at me, genuinely surprised. He didn't smile and looked slightly grave.

"A note and flower? What kind of flower was it?" He asked slowly going back to his eating.

"I don't know…for I have not seen it before". I described the features of the flower to him and he finally said "That sounds like a rose of some sort. They came to us from the halflings of the Shire."

"But why a rose? Do you know if it means anything?" I asked

"Well, I remember from our Hobbit friends, roses are flowers symbolising love" he continued rather factually.

My heart missed a beat when I heard that. So this is the way he tells me he loves me.

"Do you know who sent it to you?" he inquired. The look on his face was sheer curiosity mixed with anxiety. I felt rather strange and was wondering if he was pretending to be ignorant. I couldn't tell if it was acting or not – it felt very real.

"It was signed as Secret Admirer" and I looked at him knowingly. But he did not look at me.

Eomer continued eating as if he didn't care at all. He appears rather detached and a little annoyed. Then he turned to Lana and said,

"I think there is little that can be done about this. Perhaps if I saw the note, I might guess who it might be." And then he turned to me and said "Lady Ariel, it is up to you decide what you like to do about such things. I would think it is best you ignore this."

His tone was cold and strange as if he disapproved of what he did.

The dinner ended early tonight and Eomer excused himself to finish up some documents. I was quite upset that he had to go back to work. But I was more upset to feel that there was something strange between us. It felt as if he was really not the one who sent me the flower and note. But I decided that he was just acting to keep our secret safe.

I went out to the gardens and walked with Lana. I assured her that I had everything in control and didn't want her to get too worried about the secret admirer.

As we made our back to our rooms, we meet Eomer again. He offered to have a look at the note to see if he could figure out who the person might be. I was terribly amused that he is going to such great lengths to keep up the act.

I looked at him and smiled to myself.

* * *

(Eomer's POV) 

I apologized to the ladies for not entertaining them further during dinner. I was really feeling foul and had to get away from the dinner.

Now as I walked next to Lothiriel again, I felt my heart ease. She seemed thrilled around me and was smiling endlessly. I wasn't sure if her mirth was really because of me or if she was carried away by the mystery of her secret admirer.

I could see that Lana was not amused and was worried.

I share her feelings too. I was actually very disturbed about Lothiriel's secret admirer during dinner. She did not see how unhappy I was when she spoke of it.

I wished for a chance to say something and kept looking at her. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just steal her away like I did hours ago. But Lothiriel was also watching me. She seemed to have perceived that I wanted to be alone with her. Suddenly, she stopped walking.

"Lana did you remember if I brought my notebook to the dining hall? I don't want to lose it. It had a lot of new notes."

"I am not sure…mi…Ariel" Lana said. "Should we head back to look for it?"

"Well, I'll go back to look for it …while you bring the King…." Lothiriel added.

"Oh no. Let me will go look for it. I think it would be better if you could show the King the note quickly."

And so Lana left our company and we were alone.

We walked to a place where it was very quiet. There was a path that lead to several huge trees away from the main gardens.

When it felt safe that we were hidden in the shadows of the trees, she took my hand and whispered "Thank you".

"What do you thank me for?" I asked looking at her.

"The rose and the poem, of course. You don't expect me to say this in front of everyone, do you?"

"I don't, Lothiriel. Because I didn't send you the rose or the poem".

Finally, I said my peace. Lothiriel was slient but not for long.

"What? The flower and note wasn't from you?" she sounded dismayed and disappointed.

"Did you think it was me?"

"Of course. Who else could it be?"

"It wasn't me." I replied slowly.

"Why didn't you say so earlier!" Her voice was getting agitated and growing loud.

"Shhh… quietly….I tried but Lana was there and you were so …"

"I can't believe, you let me just go on like a fool in front of you. Please tell me off the next time." she interrupted in an exasperated manner.

"You know that I couldn't say anything. Did you think I wanted to let you go on?" I said calmly. But it was too late, she was already mad.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV) 

I was definitely shocked that Eomer told me that he didn't send me the note and the rose. I couldn't believe that I was carried away and behaved like an idiot in front of him. I felt so silly. I was angry with myself. I should have trusted my Elvish instincts!

Then he asked "Are you still angry with me?"

"No." I replied quickly. "There is nothing to be angry about. I am sorry that I shouted at you."

He started to put his arms around my waist and I leaned against him. I decided to stop reprimanding and feeling sorry for myself. I didn't want to spoil what little time was left with him. We stood there quietly in the shadows and then I asked how he felt about the secret admirer.

"Nothing" he said. "There is nothing to feel."

Nothing? How could he not feel anything at all? I was expecting him to be worried or jealous but it was not so. I did not believe what he said.

"What you mean nothing? How can you not feel anything at all?" I questioned.

"There is nothing to feel because nothing has happened." he replied

"What do you mean nothing has happened? There is a secret admirer with a romantic interest in me…and you mean that is nothing to you" I asked trying to keep my voice down. His indifference and lack of concern was starting to hurt.

He finally said "There is nothing I can do if other men choose to fall for you."

Of course there is! I shouted in my mind but said

"But aren't you afraid that I may lose my heart to them?"

"I trust you to be true to me."

It was the most unexpected thing I have heard. I thought that he would have expressed a great degree of possessiveness over me – a sense to demand me to be his alone. Shouldn't I be glad that he believed me to be faithful and that he trusted me so much in such a short time? But I gave into disappointment and a void was growing in my heart.

I thought of something to say…something that will lead him to understand that I wanted him to love me selfishly.

"But you don't know me at all."

"It doesn't matter" was all he said.

"But it does, Eomer, it does!" I shouted in my head.

Somehow, what he said broke me inside. I realized that I wished very much that he would come and discover my desire to be owned. Why wasn't he passionate and possessive toward me? Isn't that what love means? Why is it up to me?

"Why doesn't it matter?" I spoke softly "I wished it did."

And so I said goodbye and left him in the dark.

As I walked back to my room, the emotional rage churned like a whirlwind within me.

Eomer, you woke something within me.

Yet my mind was still and quiet through the rest of the night. There is much about Eomer I don't understand.

I don't know the way he loves.

* * *

(Eomer's POV) 

I could sense that she was disappointed that I wasn't the person behind the rose and note.

I was glad that she didn't insist that she wanted me to compose fancy poetry and send her flowers as her secret admirer did. I was never good with words and it would take me a lifetime to do something like that. Nor do I like sending her flowers.

But when she asked me what I felt about the secret admirer, I came to a blank. What was I suppose to feel? Was I suppose to feel anything? I found her question strange since I was fully convinced that she was already giving herself to me. I regarded our time alone earlier as something sacred – something I would not give to another. There will probably never be.

I told her the truth. "Nothing". Because she has chosen me – nothing will happen. "There is nothing to feel".

She asked about the men who had interest in her. I thought to myself that it was only natural that she had other suitors. How could other men not fall for a person such as she? Lothiriel, you are beautiful and intelligent. But more importantly, you bring out the other side of me. Lothiriel, you are special indeed.

She was afraid that she would loose her heart to them. So was I. But I refused to entertain those dark thoughts. It was dangerous that I walk in fear and jealously. I knew I would turn into a terrible man. I would hurt her.

If she truly loves me, she would come to me on her own. There will be no other between us. Lothiriel, I trust you to return. And in that I knew nothing else mattered.

But she felt otherwise. Then she told me that she would like to return to Dol Amroth soon and wished for our letters to her father to be destroyed. I was stunned by the turn of events and would have pressed her for her change of mind.

But she asked to leave and said "Goodbye, Eomer"

It felt dark.

Lothíriel means "flower garlanded maiden." (Sourced from the Thain's Book)


	8. Chapter 8: Decisions

**A/N:**

So very sorry for the long pause. There was a lot of work to be done and I had little time to attend to the story. Starting up the story after a break is really challenging. But I am glad things are progressing toward an appropriate conclusion. There is still some more way to go till the end.

Once again I apologise for the long delay – now on with the story.

**Chapter 8 – Decisions**

(Eomer's POV)

The floor was wet with rain. I woke up and closed the windows. The air was damp and heavy. It was unusual that it was raining at this time of the year.

As I returned to bed, I thought of Lothiriel again. She told me she wanted to return home. It pained me to think that I was drifting further from her again. Why did she change her mind? Was she angry with me? What did I do?

I buried my face in the pillow and screamed.

Everything was fine until Lothiriel got carried away with her mysterious admirer. A cold annoyance brewed slowly in me all evening. I wished she would stop making things up. And when she started putting me in a hypothetical situation and asked me how I would feel about a mysterious but non existent lover, my anger rose.

I hate it when I become angry. Terrible things happen. Complicated and irrational feelings always drag me into a darkness. My mind becomes dull and then monster within stirs.

And the beast grew strong feeding upon the frustration and helplessness Lothiriel was leading me to. I had to muster all my strength to stop the ugly me from breaking loose. It was as if the first Orc was struggling to emerge from a tormented Elf.

Fortunately, I prevailed. But it left me weak inside. Seldom do I encounter such battles. I avoid getting into emotional states in the first place. But with Lothiriel, I was forced to provoke the sleeping monster. Hopefully it won't happen again. I hope Lothiriel never meets him.

I really wished she did not return to Dol Amroth so soon. Now I have too little time to make an impression upon her. There is much I wish to show her.

Yet a strange thought occurred to me. Would she really find me interesting? After all, her upbringing as a princess in the royal courts of Higher Men would have create an expectation of suitable men. Men who are accomplished, talented and sophisticated. Men with wit and charming words.

And these I am not. Would she consider such qualities as criteria in choosing a husband? Her reaction over the mysterious note seems to indicate that she does.

Is she too far above me that I cannot reach her?

My confidence ebbed as I mulled over these thoughts. I felt very unhappy and had to force myself to sleep.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV) 

I woke up to close the window. The rain was coming into the room.

The air was cold and heavy around me - weighing me down like my disappointed heart. It felt strange that it rained in Rohan during the dry season. Perhaps, the earth understood my sadness and was crying.

But I was not crying at all – just sober and thoughtful.

Why am I so disappointed? Am I disappointed with him? Why I am so unhappy? My reasoning mind says that I should be glad over Eomer's generosity yet my heart is otherwise.

What is wrong?

Could it be all my doing? I set myself up to expect something unreasonable. Building up the hope that Eomer was the man behind the rose and the note. And when the truth came to me, the dream of the perfect man was shattered.

Again.

Being a princess, one might think that it was easy to be in love. But that had not been so.

I recalled the different men I had liked deeply and fallen for before. I remembered how each of them appealed to me and made me feel special. Some captivated me with their musical ability; some were good with words while others intrigued me with their radical philosophy. The combination of fair looks, grace and intellect never failed to make my silly heart turn.

Yet all of them did not result in love. Often, my affection toward them was in secret. Love was often disguised as friendship, my romantic affections were unnoticed and went unanswered. In time, the hope of romance die as I discovered some intolerable character flaw or realized that there was someone else he had in mind.

And then, there were those who loved me but I could bring myself not love. These I had pity because I understood the pain of hoping and failing. But I will not love them for pity's sake.

But Eomer came to me a different way.

There were no fine words, music or ideas. It was his flawless character that first caught me. That is what I love about him.

And today he took me by surprise with his expression of romantic desire. He had risked his reputation to touch me, and yet he choose to cross the line. The tryst should have destroyed the paragon of virtue he appeared to be. Yet I am of the view that this is totally consistent to his character of being true. My heart burned as I remembered the intense and private time we had. He was the only man who dared to touch me this way. I love him for showing what he feels.

Eomer loves me in a different way. There is a certain freedom when I am with him.

Still I do not fully understand why I am not completely taken in with him. My soul is raising questions of our affinity.

Is it important that he is romantic, witty and intelligent like the men I loved before? I cannot decide.

* * *

(Eomer's POV) 

She came to me with another letter. My head was in a terrible pain as she spoke of the contents of the note. It was from her secret admirer. He must have found out that she was leaving tomorrow and wanted to meet. I tried to focus on what she was saying but it was hard to listen with my head thumping in pain.

"So what do you think I should do" Lothiriel asked.

"Why do you ask me?" I started rather impatiently "You should do as you wish."

Lothiriel was very displeased with my response but I could not be bothered with her reaction. I wished she would end this stupid façade of proprietary and just do whatever she wanted to. Who was I to tell her what to do – I am not her father. I am no one to her.

I did not say anything but started to rub my neck. I was hoping to relieve the headache that was upon me since this morning. So much for sleeping well last night.

"You look as if you are in pain" she said rolling her eyes.

"I am having a headache" I grimaced and continued to rub my neck. I wished she did not look at me that way – it makes my headache worse.

"Didn't you sleep well last night" she asked in a much softer manner. I could see a concern emerging from her eyes.

"No. I did not." I replied and sat down on the chair nearby.

And then she surprised me.

"I could make you feel better. Would you like me to rub your neck a bit?"

It was an offer I could not – perharps did not want to refuse. I nodded and pointed to where my neck was rather stiff.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV) 

I was expecting him to tell me not to go to meet this stranger but once again he left it up to me to decide. His lack of concern and totally detached response to my question made me angry.

If this were my father or brothers, they would have forbidden me to entertain this further. They would have tried to protect me. Yet here was a stupid oaf of a man who does not know what to say.

Eomer, if you love me, command me not to go.

My displeasure and anger toward him grew – I did not hide it. And when he started to rub his neck, I felt ignored and became rather sarcastic.

Then I said "You look as if you are in pain". I was insincere and wanted to be hurtful.

My words must have been effective because I could see he was really in much pain.

"I am having a headache" was his reply.

Then a part of me softened and I realized I had been very selfish since the beginning of the conversation. I was oblivious to Eomer's pain. I was too absorbed with my need to be wanted, to be heard and to be loved. I felt guilty.

So I offer to rub his neck for him as a form of restitution. He didn't say a word but indicated to me where the pain on his neck was at.

And it was true – he was having a headache. His neck muscles were very stiff and hard as a rock. The tightness ran all the way from the shoulder to the base of his skull.

I stood behind him and started knead deeply into the hardened muscles. It must have been very painful as he had tears in his eyes and his hands were clenched. He groaned and laughed at the same time. The expression on his face was both painful and comical.

"Do you want me to stop" I asked trying hard not to laugh at him. He looked so funny being in relief and pain at the same time.

"No…I feel it is getting a little better" he said gritting his teeth.

When I could feel the neck muscles loosen, I stopped. The skin on his neck was red and my hands were very tired from the massage.

"I think that should do" I said.

"Thank you. I do feel better." he replied. And then he caught hold of my hand and kissed it gently.

"Your neck was so thick and hard. My hands are painful." I complained.

I turned and sat facing him and I straighten out my right arm toward him. "It's my turn" I said playfully.

Without hesitation, he started massaging the hand. Then he asked for the other hand and did the same.

"So is your head better" I asked as he worked on my hands.

"There is still a little pain" he replied "But it is already much better, thank you."

"So what is your answer to my question" I asked.

"I already told you that it is up to you" he replied rather calmly.

"Why is it up to me?" I asked.

"Why is it up to you?" he repeated. "Because only you know what is best for yourself."

"But don't you think that as my prospective husband, you should advise me or direct me."

"Even if I were your husband, I would have you choose your course of action."

"You would let me choose?"

"Who am I to tell you what you must do. You are not my prisoner and I do not own you."

I looked at him as he spoke these words. He was focused on rubbing my hands and did not look at me. I was beginning to understand at least to a little more of what Eomer meant by love.

Yes, it is up to me to decide.

* * *

(Eomer's POV) 

"I like to meet the admirer. So do you think that is a good idea?" she asked.

"I don't know" I replied and stopped rubbing her hand.

"Well, I shall meet him then…since it is up to me." she continued. I became quiet. Something strange was happening inside me – some nasty feeling was coming.

"Are you uncomfortable with the idea?" she inquired.

"A little bit" I said rather seriously, not knowing where this nasty energy will flow.

"I think it is better that I find out who he is and what he might be up to" she stated rather factually. I actually agreed with her but was feeling otherwise. My heart did not want her to see him. I felt I wanted to stop her.

I could have said "Lothiriel, please don't go" but "If you think so" came out instead.

"Do you wish me not to go" she asked "I wish you will tell me what you wish."

I did not answer her question for I was afraid of what or how I might say it. The nasty feeling was getting intense. I looked out of the window.

We were quiet for a long while and I could see that she was looking at me from the corner of my eye.

"So tell me why you are uncomfortable with me meeting this man." she asked finally. By that time, I was feeling more composed and could think rationally.

"It might be dangerous for you to see him alone" I said.

"Then I would need someone to follow me" she added and I looked at her. I was glad that she stopped trying to dig out my feelings about the situation.

"I would come with you, if you let me." I continued.

"Then come in such a way that you can be near but I would see and talk to him alone" she replied slowly and deliberately.

"You mean that I hide and observe the two of you from afar?" I was expecting to meet him with her openly.

"Yes. I want to keep it private for him. Besides, it will attract a lot of undue attention if he saw you with me."

"That's true." I said feeling very stupid.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV) 

I gave up trying to discern Eomer's heart. I knew that he was not happy that I decided to meet the secret admirer. But he did not want tell me why. I thought he was going to tell me that he wished that I did not go but he did not. I asked him to tell me what he wished, the things he was feeling within but he did not say. Finally, I asked more directly why he was uncomfortable. That was when he said that that he felt it was dangerous for me to meet the stranger alone.

A reasonable and wise reply. But for some reason, it was not an answer I wanted to hear. He was speaking again with detachment from his feelings and was rational.

Must I hear him tell me that he wanted me to stay? Or perhaps became angry and act as a jealous lover? It was strange to me that I was hoping to see such behaviors. Why do I need him to be in control?

But I will have deal with this another time. Perhaps, when I am alone.

And I started to approach the issue of meeting the secret admirer more rationally.

We made our way to the west side of the garden where the secret admirer said he would be waiting. On our way there, I walked alone and Eomer followed me into the garden from a distance.

When I arrived, I did not see anyone in the garden. So I sat down on a bench and waited for a while. Then I heard footsteps and turned and saw a familiar face. It was Lord Freawine – one of Eomer's court advisors. He was a young man who had a comely appearance and spoke very well. Lana and I spent many hours with him during our study of Rohan. He was very likeable and one of our favorite people at the court.

But I wasn't sure if he was the secret admirer or not.

"Good evening, Lord Freawine" I said.

"Good evening, Lady Ariel. What are you doing here?" Freawine asked.

"I am waiting for someone" I said.

"And who might that be, if I may ask?" he continued.

"Of course, you may but all I can tell you is that it is a secret."

"Then I will ask no more" he said.

"And what about you Lord Freawine? Do you come to these gardens often?"

"Not really except of late."

"And why is that so?"

"It is hard to explain but perhaps I can show you something and you will understand. Would you like to come?"

"Well, why not if it is not very far from here."

"It is just over there" Freawine pointed at some short hedges about twenty feet ahead.

And so I followed Freawine and found myself in the midst of a rose garden. Then Freawine said "I come here to pluck these flowers for a lady I much admire." And with that he presented me another rose that he just plucked from the bushes. And I knew for sure who Freawine was.

"Thank you. It is very pretty" I said as I took the rose from him. "And does your lady know how much you admire her?"

"I am sure she does." Freawine said knowingly with a charming smile.

"And may I ask who is this lady of yours?"

"Of course, you may but all I can tell you is that it is a secret." Freawine replied.

We both laughed at his remark and it felt incredibly refreshing to have someone witty to talk with. I somehow wished Eomer had half his wits. That would have made him perfect.

"But it is a secret no longer, I fear" Freawine said looking at me rather seriously.

"Yes, I think the secret is out." was my reply.

What followed was Freawine's confession that he was in love with me and sought permission to court me. I felt very flattered and yet full of remorse. Here is another love that cannot be. It was a pity.

"I am truly honored by your feelings for me but I cannot accept them."

Freawine was surprised. I think he was expecting a more positive answer and not an outright rejection. If I was not Princess Lothiriel but Lady Ariel, I would definitely consider him as a possible match.

"And why is that so? I am surprised that you have judged me so quickly."

"It is not what you think. I do not judge you as I hardly know you." I began rather slowly. It is just that my father has made arrangements for me, Lord Freawine. I am intended for another."

Although I spoke the truth that sounded like an excuse to reject Freawine's affections.

"I don't believe you. Are you saying this to avoid being truthful with me, Lady Ariel?"

"It is the truth. There is no reason why I need to lie to you."

"I cannot imagine why a lady like you would need such an arrangement? Do you not marry for love in Dol Amroth?"

"I do, Lord Freawine…." I said rather spiritedly and he then interrupted.

"And this man your father wants you to marry, do you love him?"

I was stunned by the question and replied quickly "Of course, I love….."

But I could not finish my sentence. There was a lack of conviction. My soul was not convinced that it was in love with Eomer totally or absolutely.

"I don't have to explain anything, Lord Freawine. It is not your business to know." I said rather curtly.

"I am sorry Lady Ariel to have intruded into your private affairs." Freawine started. "But if there is ever a chance that you don't love him, I want to let you know that I will be waiting for you."

"No, Lord Freawine. Please don't waste your time waiting for me. I will be married and there is no doubt about that. "

"Will you not even give me a chance to hope?" he asked.

"There is none I can give." I said feeling the tears in my eyes. I understand the pain of unrequited love too well.

"Please Lord Freawine, I am so sorry." I handed the rose back to him and turned to walk away.

I walked alone for a long time. There was too much to think and to decide.

Will I love him or not?

* * *

(Eomer's POV) 

I followed her slowly as she walked with Lord Freawine, whom I immediately knew was her secret admirer.

From where I was, I could only see them from the side. I saw him pass her a carefully plucked rose and she took it to her lips. There was a look of bliss and contentment that reminded me of how she looked at me last night. She thought I was the secret admirer.

Then he said something and the both of them laughed. My heart sank at the smile they shared.

Freawine started to look serious. It appears that he was telling her something important. She looked at him and played with the rose as if she was considering everything he was proposing.

I watched on, holding back all my fears and was consciously reassuring myself that everything will work out.

And the only reassurance I held onto was that Lothiriel, as the princess of Dol Amroth was not at liberty to choose to love Freawine. She was given to me – she was mine to love. She would follow her father's wishes. She would turn him away.

And soon the laughing stopped. Lothiriel put on her serious face as she spoke. There was a point she looked almost defensive and then speechless. There was also look of pain when she handed the rose back to Freawine.

I felt a great relief as she left Freawine. She had rejected him.

I continued to follow her, wondering when I should show myself to her again. Yet I dared not. There seems to be a loss of confidence after I watched her reject Freawine. Something happened to me but what?

She stopped suddenly and turned around as if she was looking for something or someone. I took it as the signal to reveal myself. I came out from my hiding and looked in her direction. Her eye caught me and she stood there watching me go toward her.

I walked toward her feeling totally bewildered and lost. Should I comfort her? Should I hold her? What should I say? What should I do?

"How was it?" I asked not knowing what else to say. I kept a reasonable distance as it was unwise to hold her in the open view.

"Quite sad, I think." was her reply.

"How come?" I continued.

"I had to turn away someone I could love."

"But you did the right thing to turn him away."

"I had no choice. The truth is that he thinks I am Lady Ariel and I am not. And even if he knew the truth about me and forgave me for deceiving him, there is still my father. Yes, the best thing was to turn him away now."

"You did the right thing" I said. "You don't need to feel sad."

"I know I did the right thing." Lothiriel continued. "But I cannot help but feel the sadness."

"Why are you sad for him?"

"No, not for him. I think I am sad for myself."

There was a silence between us and a fear gripped me. I wanted to know why she was sad but I was afraid to ask.

"Is there anyway I can help you?" I finally said.

"Thank you. But I need to think on my own." she said.

And with that I excused myself from her presence still keeping a watchful distance. I saw that she returned to the main hall for dinner and later escorted her back to her room.

"Thank you very much King Eomer" she said at her door.

"Do rest well, my lady. It will be a long journey back home."

"I will. Good night, my lord."

As I returned to my room, everything felt wrong. I tried to figure out the loss of my confidence toward Lothiriel.

Lothiriel did not reject me. She rejected Freawine. There was no answer and so I slept.

That night, I dreamt of Lothiriel's love to me.

And I saw the way she spoke with Freawine. I heard her reasons why she rejected Freawine. I uttered my own reassurance why she would reject Freawine's affection.

It became clear that her choice was based on her sense of duty, obedience to her father and her position as the Princess. Once again duty before love.

There was nothing about love. I was not the reason. I, was not a reason.

I began to accept the truth – Lothiriel may not love me.


	9. Chapter 9: The Choice

**Chapter 9 – The Choice  
**

(Lothiriel's POV)

I am on the way home.

Eomer as I expected came along with the escorts from Rohan accompanying myself and Lana. Though he told everyone that he was going to Dol Amroth to settle some state business with Prince Imrahil, I wondered if he was making the most of every moment to be with me.

Or perharps I am the state business he was referring to. Eomer doesn't lie.

After my encounter with Freawine, it became clearer to me how Eomer and I were incompatible in critical ways. It dawned upon me that he grew up with horses and spent most of his years fighting a war wheras I was raised as a lady of learning and lore. It was not that I did not like him. The truth is that I do in some ways but I cannot imagine the kind of lifelong companion he would be. I needed to relate to him more intellectually.

But will he be able to relate to me? And if he is unable and I married him, won't my life be so devoid of the things I love?

It would be a lie to say that I love him when there are gaps in how we would relate.

And I know from the way things have been that there is a part of me he will never fill. And probably could not. It became even more apparent when we rode together. I wanted to find out how wide the gap was and if we could share mutual interests. So I started with asking what his favorite story was.

"I don't remember having any favorites. I don't read much." he said.

"Well, even if you don't read a lot, you would have heard stories told by others." I replied.

"Yes, I have but I don't have a deep impression of them".

"In that case, maybe I could share one of my. Have you heard of Beren and Luthien?"

"What is the story about?" he asked.

His ignorance of the tale of Beren and Luthien was shocking but I bore it quietly and retold the tale.

"So does the story sound familiar?" I asked.

"Yes, I think I must heard it long time ago. I just did not remember the names of the characters." He answered quietly and with some disinterest.

"So what do you think of their love?" I asked hoping that he might at least give an intelligent commentary or his analysis.

"It is too tragic and complicated. I would have preferred a happier ending." How typical of Eomer –always preferring the simple and straightforward.

There was nothing more I could say after that. Our conversations often came to a full stop. I became tired of making conversation of the things I liked and only to find that he did not feel the same way. He didn't care to know of philosophy, music or languages. In my mind, he was turning out to be an unlearned and boorish man – the kind I would be quick to despise.

And I would have pass such judgement if not for the counsel from my heart : Be patient and take another look.

'Why should I?' retorted my mind, when he could not handle any sort of intellectual conversation that I enjoyed and longed to share with him.

'Perhaps, time will show you how he may be loved' whispered my heart.

Mired in confusion and in conflict again, I remembered what Eomer said before - that he could love someone in time if he choose to. How strange that I had to do the same and to the man who would have done the same for me.

But why should I? Could I really love him in time?

My thoughts turned to facing my father on my marriage to him once again. Eomer would definitely make the offer of marriage when he arrived. I know he is in love with me.

But will there be any escape for me? Everything I did to free myself has changed nothing. I might as well have stayed at Dol Amroth to await this sentence.

Love before duty is a hopeless cause.

* * *

(Eomer's POV) 

I refused to be afflicted by my sense of inadequacy. I reasoned that even if Lothiriel did not love me, she did not love me yet. Didn't I say before that one could find a way to love another in time?

But am I deceiving myself to think that she might find a way to love me? Even I had tried and failed before. Would she be able to do what I could not?

As I rode with her, she appeared to be rather aloof and distant. She made conversation with me but I was hopeless with the things she wanted to talk about. I felt very small as she talked about the things I could not relate to. Why couldn't she talk about horses, the war of the Ring or the affairs of state? I could have more intelligent conversations around these more important things of life.

Yet another problem bothered me. I said before that I would only marry for love. I would not force the princess to marry me if she did not love me. But how could she love me when there was no time for her to know me? And our conversations only made me look more stupid before her. We need more time together. But how could I have such time unless I ask her father for her hand? This is contrary to what I wished. I despise myself for going back on my word to her.

Then I noticed that she had stopped talking and was deep in thought over something. She looked confused and moody and the exuberance about her was gone. And somehow I wished that she would smile and be witty again. I wondered if there was something I could do to ease her and was engrossed in thinking about getting closer to her once more. Then she suddenly asked,

"King Eomer, would you know if we could stop for a while? It has been more than half a day since we left."

I mentally kicked myself as I realized that the ladies of Dol Amroth were probably not hardy riders and would not be able to ride long distances like us without stopping.

"I am so sorry that I have been so inattentive and inconsiderate. We will make a stop soon"

So we took a break from our journey. And the nearby fields were in bloom with simbelmynë.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV) 

Lana was very annoyed when I told her that Eomer knew of my true identity. I didn't want her to worry when we arrived at Dol Amroth.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Lana asked in a hushed tone "I was thinking of the ways how to break the news to him all morning."

"I am sorry that you had to worry. But he only knew of it some three days or so."

"How did it all happen?" Lana asked and I told her as much I wanted her to know.

"Why didn't you tell me this, that night when you came back from the Ithilien?"

"It was very late and I was tired. Then the next day there was that secret admirer episode."

Lana did not ask me further but said

"If I may be so bold milady, is there something going on between you and King Eomer?"

I pursed my lips and did not say a word.

"Everyone could see that you were talking to him endlessly all this while……Do you like him?"

I didn't answer that question either but just glared at her.

"Well, I am sure he likes you on his part at least." continued Lana.

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, from the way he has been looking at you all this time we are talking. And see, he coming over to you!"

I glared at Lana once again and she understood that we should not talk anymore.

Eomer came up to me and Lana to make sure we were fine. He apologized profusely and was sorry that he forgot about the fact that we were not like the Rohhrim and needed rest. He also presented some unusual berries as a gesture of his apology.

"What are these?" Lana asked.

"They are wildberries that are only found here. My sister and I used pick them when we were in this vicinity. They are hard to find and I thought you might like to try them."

And so we tasted a few. It was simply awful.

"Oh, they are really sour!" I exclaimed. "It tastes terrible!" and wanted to spew them out immediately.

Eomer giggled as he watched us take to the berries. "It is not so bad. It starts out sour but if you wait a while, the aftertaste is sweet. It helps if you eat them slowly. Do have some more."

"These nasty berries . . . no thank you, King Eomer" Lana said and excused herself to get some water from the stream.

We were alone and Eomer looked at me.

"What about you, Lady Ariel? Would you like more?"

I looked at Eomer and saw that he was keen that I took a second helping. "It is an acquired taste. You will get used to it and like it." he urged.

And so I took a few more and ate them slowly. He was right. The berries didn't taste as bad as they did the first time.

"What about you? Aren't you eating them?" I said with my eyebrows raised looking at Eomer "I hope this is not some kind of joke you are playing on me." I threatened.

"Not at all. Ladies, first" he chuckled.

We ate the berries quietly for a while. Then Eomer said

"I wonder what happens if I do this." Then he grabbed a whole fistful of the berries and munched on them rather quickly. And I saw his face change. His eyes squinted and then opened up as wide as saucers. He opened his mouth and hung out his tongue. It seemed that his tongue was burning.

"Ow! Do you have any water here?" he panted. And so I passed him some water which he grabbed and gulped down. He looked so comical that I could not help but laugh.

"Well, that should get rid of the sting" he said with relief, wiping his mouth.

"So it stings?" I asked suspiciously. "I thought you said the berries were sweet."

"They are if you eat them one by one. But if you ate a whole bunch like what I just did, they sting in the mouth."

"Did you know that it will taste so bad?" I queried.

"No. I had no idea. I have never eaten them this way. Now I understand why we were told to eat them slowly when we were young."

"So why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Eat the nasty berries so quickly. Why did you do it?"

"I thought I should find out what it tastes like in a bunch." Eomer replied jovially. "And it seems I made you laugh. Was it funny?"

"Yes. It was. But don't do it again. I don't want you to entertain me at your expense."

"It is nothing at all. I would do it again if it makes you smile."

I didn't know how I should respond. Although I was not impressed with what he did, I was touched by his earnest sincerity that he cared if I should smile.

But I was totally unprepared with what he said next.

"I like to make you laugh, Lothiriel" Eomer whispered looking intently into me. "I want to make you happy."

His words and look sent me reeling inside. The sense of appreciation and care that he offered enveloped me and my heart felt warmed. I was happy but I was also afraid.

I looked away and said "Thank you, Eomer. You have been very kind today" with a coy smile.

And he was on another way to winning my heart. But my mind still remained unconvinced.

* * *

(Eomer's POV) 

When we stopped to rest, I led the men to scout the area. The truth was that I really wanted to go with her but I did not want to attract unnecessary attention.

I decided to reveal Lothiriel's true identity to my men and instructed them to keep it to themselves. It was for her safety should something happen to me on the way. She may never forgive for doing this but one could never be too sure and the roads can still be dangerous.

By chance, we found some wild berries that were peculiar to the region. It had been a long time since I ate them and also thought Lothiriel might like to try some. I gathered as much as I could find for her.

It turned out that the berries provided me the excuse to go to her.

I just thought that I would leave my gift with the ladies. I was hoping that she would see from the gesture that I was thinking of her. Then Lana left us. I could not believe my good fortune that I could be with her alone.

Then for reasons beyond me, I did something stupid and made a fool of myself. And she laughed at me. It was not my plan but everything just came by the way. It felt good that I made her smile. My courage returned and I told her I want to make her happy.

She became shy at my remark which surprised me. There was a look of love and great contentment on Lothiriel's face. It was as if I had written her a poem and gave her a rose. The simplicity of being together was creating something precious.

"Thank you, Eomer. You have been very kind today." she replied and looked away out to the fields. I thought I had lost her attention. I seldom said such things and wondered if I was sounding stupid again.

I followed her gaze and asked "Do you know what those flowers are?"

"I think they are simbelmynë in your speech." she answered. And that led to a conversation about flowers.

To my surprise, Lothiriel was not like most women who were into flowers. She had no preference for them. Then I asked if she liked roses. I recalled she was so taken in with those.

"I don't really care for the roses actually. It was the idea of what the rose meant that I love." she explained. I began to realise that Lothiriel loves the idea behind things rather than the things themselves. To her all things are layered with symbols and meanings and she took great joy to discover them.

And I shared with her my view of flowers – that they are transient and highly impractical gifts.

She agreed with me but asked "But what if I really liked flowers? What would you do?"

"I will pick you a fresh one from the garden everyday for you."

"Why should you do that? I thought you did not like giving people flowers." she queried.

"I would if it makes you happy." I professed mildly.

She kept quiet for a while and then said "Do you have any idea what my name 'Lothiriel' means?" She wanted to change the subject and did not want to talk about us.

I wished I knew the answer but there is no sense in trying to hide my ignorance. I knew I missed the chance to impress her.

"No, I am afraid I do not. What does it mean?" came my honest reply.

"It means flower garlanded maiden" she replied. "Isn't it strange with such a name, I don't care for flowers." she said with a laugh and looked to the simbelmynë field once more.

Another thought came to my mind and I asked "Would you like to take a walk to see the simbelmynë fields?"

"Is there anything interesting out there?" she asked.

"I don't know but who knows what might be out there." I said.

"I understand that simbelmynë grows where the dead are buried." She was obviously very knowledgeable down to such details of Rohan.

"So are you afraid to walk among the dead?" I added. This was the second time I challenged her today.

"I am not afraid of the walk. But who knows what might be out there" she replied. "What about you – are you afraid?" At last her witty nature has returned.

I smiled at her and started to walk to the fields. We walked on our own till we came to a tree and sat down. I would have preferred to take her hand and lead her but I didn't want others to know what I felt about her. It wasn't the time.

But now under the tree – we were out of sight of the others. I started pulling the simbelmynë near my feet to make a small wreath.

"What are you doing?" she asked curiously.

"Something for you" I said. And in a while, the delicate ring of white flowers was complete.

I placed it on her head like a crown and said "Now you are truly Lothiriel."

She was delighted by my gesture and started to adjust the crown of flowers on her head.

"Oh! How does it look?" she inquired.

"Like my queen" and I kissed her on her forehead.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV) 

I was delighted that he made me a crown of flowers and called me his queen. After he placed the flowers on my head, he kissed them. Then he drew my face toward his and kissed me again on the lips.

Eomer always got bolder whenever we were alone.

And it became more impossible that I could hold anything against him. I realized that I enjoyed his companionship and his ability to help me take joy in simple things.

When the kiss broke, I asked if he planned everything to impress me.

"No, I don't know how to plan such things. I just did what it felt right to do".

"And what feels right to do now?" I asked in anticipation that he might try to kiss me again.

He did and asked "Is this the answer you want to your question?"

"Yes." I giggled.

He did not laugh with me but became rather serious. He looked at the simbelmynë on the ground. "Lothiriel" he started slowly "Will I ever win your heart?"

This was such a difficult question to answer, truthfully. My growing fondness of him still could not eradicate the hostility of my mind toward him. And so I said "Yes, but …."

"But?" he interrupted.

"My mind is not completely convinced." I answered with great reluctance. I was not sure how I could present the truth without hurting him. I could not bear to hurt or upset anyone especially Eomer.

"What do you mean?"

"I do wish that my husband would be a learned and intellectual companion. Someone who could understand my ideas. Someone I could learn from."

He did not answer for a long time and I didn't wish to talk about this further. It was really my own problem that I could not accept him for what he is.

"I am not and may never be such a man. Will it matter to you?" he asked.

I felt torn and was afraid of the honesty and the pain of truth. Yet I said,

"To some degree. When I cannot share what I truly love with you, I don't know if that is called love. "

I started to cry terribly suddenly. It was all that conflict of the mind and heart turning itself out. Why must I choose between the head and the heart? What could I do?

Eomer was greatly saddened by my crying and I saw his eyes brimming with tears as well. I became alarmed and was afraid that he might break down before me. I stopped myself from my weeping and asked "What is the matter, Eomer?"

"It is just very emotional. I feel sad that I cannot appreciate your gifts fully. I want to be what you need of me. You know I would do it if I could." Resignation and regret was heavy in the tone of his voice.

I just looked at him –so broken and vulnerable to me. If only I had the strength like him to will myself to love – we would be so happy.

"I am weak and selfish to say the least, Eomer. I do not know how to love you."

And I cried.

* * *

(Eomer's POV) 

I was not afraid to face to the truth that I was not everything she wanted in her husband. She was obviously in great conflict and was slipping into a despair. How could she come to me when her heart and mind are not one?

If I could only help her see that we had to take time to develop this so called intellectual compatibility she was seeking, I know she would be mine. Although I was not confident that I could change and become the man of her dreams, I had a certain hope that she might come to love me. Her heart was more receptive toward me than I imagined. If only she will decide to love me. If I could help her find the reason.

"Of course you do" I started. "A part of you love me and that will grow in time. I will .. .. "

"But you don't understand it will not…."

"No, Lothiriel." I interjected. "You don't understand. You expect a love to be perfected in so little time. We hardly know each other but look close we really are in such a short time."

I spoke firmly to her hoping to appeal to her strong sense of rationality. If only she would find a reason to be willing to love me. But I didn't know what this reason was.

"Is it possible? We are so different." she finally asked and very doubtfully. "Don't you find some of the things I like and do unappealing to you?"

"Yes, of course."

And I was frank about the things we love but might never share with the other the passion for them. Such truth was discouraging and was drawing us apart. But the differences were never an issue to me – at least not on my part. She must know the truth.

"But I love you inspite of our differences. And now without even the hope that you care to love me" I stated in a voice that was choking with the fear of rejection.

"Lothiriel, I choose to love you for what you will be."

By this time, she had stopped crying and looked very thoughtful. I had no idea if I was able to convince her to see things my way.

* * *

(Lothiriel's POV) 

He was waiting for me to decide if I would choose him.

I did not understand Eomer's love. His love is always about a choice and he always sought my choice above his own. It was as plain as he had said before that it will be up to me to decide. There was no control, manipulation or force he exercised. He wanted it to be entirely up to me. This was always his way and his perspective of love.

Eomer loved me because he choose to. The idea amazed me and was profound. There was much wisdom in him that remained hidden and unknown. And here was someone I could learn from.

After Eomer spoke, I was persuaded to look at love in a different way. Too long had I looked at who I wanted to love and not the person that might be as a result of my love.

I thought about what he said and it was true that we were closer despite of the lack of knowledge and time together. And if this was the seed of our love, what might the fruit be?

I rested my head on his chest and whispered, "Yes, I could love you for what you will be."

I decided I would choose him.


End file.
